Recently, I made the terrible mistake of browsing through Etsy.com. For those of you who are not familiar with Etsy.com, it is a website where talented craftsmen and women can sell their wares. You can find beautiful custom jewelry, clothing, paintings, sculptures, and practically anything else you can imagine.

For whatever reason, I started browsing through the hand sewn vintage aprons. The ideas I saw were amazing! I instantly conjured up this mental picture where I was adorned in a Donna Reed-like dress, pumps, pearls, with my hair in a “Jackie O” style French twist. And to top off my ensemble, I was wearing my own version of a lovely, savvy, tres chic vintage apron. In this warped 1950’s daydream, I was kinder, smarter, prettier, more gracious, my food tasted better, my children and husband were happier, and all was right with the world.

In fact, I was so inspired in that moment, that I decided I was going to quit my current life to so I can be a custom apron designer. Seriously.

So, I set out for the local craft and fabric store, researched pattern options, agonized over the fabric, ribbon and embellishment selections, and headed home so I could take the first step in what would soon become my amazing, rags to riches story about a Mom and former corporate professional who has now “gone crafty.”

SIX. HOURS. LATER… I had sewn the pocket. That’s right. The pocket. And now that I look at it, I do not even think I sewed it right.

Lessons learned? Firstly, I stink as a seamstress and I would not have the talent and patience to make this my full time gig. Secondly, I enjoy the designing more than the doing. And thirdly, and perhaps most importantly, there is something to be said for actually test-driving a potential vocational choice before completely diving in. In my apron example, I was able to test the waters and all it cost me was about 8-10 hours of my time and approximately $70 dollars in materials.

But what if you were searching for your distinct career calling or considering a career transition? Can you really “try on” a career – like being a florist, an accountant, or a nurse – for size?

Here’s five easy ways you can start to test the waters (without getting in over your head):

 1.    Do some research. This may seem really elementary, but with that nifty thing called the internet, we can dig deeper and learn a lot more nowadays about a job or organization than we ever could before. A simple Google search is a great place to start. Next, you can visit the career resources on the large job search websites. User-generated content on some of the career-oriented discussion forums, like Indeed.com or Simplyhired.com, or websites like www.jobvent.com and www.glassdoor.com offer an inside scoop on what it’s like to work in a specific role at a specific company.

 2.    Talk to other people who may be working in that field. If you do not have friends, family or acquaintances you can talk to, find a way to connect with people you don’t know. Social networking can prove to be a valuable tool in this situation. On LinkedIn, Twitter and Facebook, you can connect/join groups, follow or friend people in almost any field imaginable and have the advantage of getting a play-by-play account of their typical day…good and bad. If you work to build a more personal connection with some of these people, soon they’d probably be open to talking or communicating directly with you via email or direct messages. The good news is that people usually love to talk about themselves, and in our society, we are well accustomed to talking to others, even virtual strangers, about our vocations. Just think about the type of conversation you have with someone you’ve just met. It doesn’t take long before the question “What do you do for a living?” comes up!

 3.    Almost any vocation you could ever imagine has a club. That’s right. A club. Only, as grown-ups, we call them professional associations. But, the sociological aspects are similar to your childhood days in the good ole tree house. People like to connect, especially people who have the same professional passions. They trade notes on best practice, encourage development, and best of all, educate outsiders on their trade. There is usually quite a bit of knowledge to be found on a professional organization’s website. And, they usually have college or newbie groups that welcome direct contact from people who are thinking about entering the field. I touched on it in the point above, but you can also find these professional groups on LinkedIn. Get in on all the action – as they hold discussions, post questions and share information on job openings – by joining these groups.

 4.    Once you’ve had the chance to get some first-hand accounts, think about taking it a step further by asking one of your new contacts if they’d mind having you shadow them for a day or two. Most people would be flattered to offer this sort of honest feedback about their jobs. Not only do you get to truly experience a “day in the life,” but the sheer fact that you asked to shadow a seasoned professional in the first place helps you to leave a lasting, positive impression with your contact. If you ultimately decide to pursue that field of work, it definitely helps to have some people in your corner who are already have a favorable opinion of you.

 5.    Consider taking a vocation vacation. Founded in 2004 by Brian Kurth, VocationVacations offers “Dream Job Vacations” in over 125 different fields with some 300+ experts across the country. Simply visit the website, www.vocationsvacations.com, select the career choice that interests you, and then read all the details about that specific vocational mentorship getaway. I think it is a GENIUS idea. Not only do you get a realistic preview of the career, but you also get some helpful insider tips from a mentor who has mastered that specific gig! And I would imagine that there have been some friendships that have been forged as a result of the experience that have lived on well past the “vacation.”

In the end, just talking or daydreaming about your ideal profession is not going to get you anywhere. Life is too short! Be bold enough to take real steps toward either pursuing that career option you’ve been considering or eliminating it from the list of options.

P.S. Know anyone who enjoys sewing aprons? I got some supplies I’d be willing to sell them…for real cheap!

Cartoon drawn by artist Hugh MacLeod** at www.gapingvoid.com

I was at the library last week when I decided to pick up Seth Godin’s little nugget The Dip: A Little Book That Teaches You When To Quit (And When to Stick). First published in 2007, you might think that I am just a tad bit “behind the eight ball” on this, but, I think some of the ideas expressed in the book are really worth revisiting.

I am particularly interested in resurrecting some of Godin’s thoughts in light of the recent research published in the Wall Street Journal on the epidemic of career zombies (aka “Recession Survivors”) in the workplace. Seems as if there are a whole lot of people who are content to basically rot in jobs that are not satisfying because of fear, worry and an intense desire to avoid change in the wake of the recession.

For those who are not familiar with The Dip, the premise is simple…yet profound. Godin starts out by affirming that most of us want to be the best. Of course the definition of “the best” is subjective. The things that distinguish the best parent from the best taxi driver from the best elementary school teacher from the best writer on career management, well, are naturally very different in each case. Whatever “best” we may be striving for, Godin describes three basic “curves” that people often travel as they try to accomplish something.

One such path is a rare curve Godin calls “The Cliff.” Basically, in this scenario, one rockets to the top, they feel great but you know they are going to take a big dive sooner or later. Godin illustrates this by describing a smoker. One example that comes to my mind includes someone who is taking their chances week after week at the Vegas craps tables. The path is nearly impossible to quit until it is too late. That “drop off” in the end, whether it be emphysema or bankruptcy, is a rough one.

Godin concentrates instead on two other, more common curves: The Dip and The Cul-De-Sac.

The main curve and focal point of the book, “The Dip,” is described as that path that starts out feeling great. As someone takes on some new endeavor, it is novel, fun, interesting, there is period of accelerated learning…which keeps us excited and engaged. Until, that is, the Dip happens. Godin describes the Dip like this:

“The Dip is the long slog that happens between starting and mastery. A long slog that’s actually a shortcut, because it gets you where you want to go faster than any other path. The Dip is the combination of bureaucracy and busywork you must deal with in order to get certified in scuba diving. The Dip is the difference between the easy ‘beginner’ technique and the more useful ‘expert’ approach in skiing or fashion design. The Dip is the stretch between beginner’s luck and real accomplishment.”

Godin goes on to explain that the thing that distinguishes the best from those who are just mediocre is whether or not they pushed through the Dip to reach the other side and how they handled the process.

“They [the best] don’t just buckle down and survive it. No, they lean into the Dip. They push harder, changing the rules as they go.”

The mediocre ones, by contrast, will choose to quit after they have already invested time and energy in a particular pursuit, and often tragically, when they are in the middle of or nearly through the Dip.

The second curve  is “The Cul-De-Sac,” and Godin describes it as a scenario of being stuck in a purgatory of mediocrity. No challenges, no real growth, and certainly void of gratification. Godin  says:

“It’s a situation where you work and you work and you work and nothing much changes. It doesn’t get a lot better, it doesn’t get a lot worse. It just is.”

Starting to sound a bit familiar?

In addition to the curves that lead us to being the best or not the best, Godin also spends a significant amount of time talking about quitting. Many of us have the belief that quitting is for losers and it is hard wired into our psyches. Godin maintains that quitting is not the same as failing. He puts it like this:

“If you realize you’re at a dead end compared with what you could be investing in, quitting is not only a reasonable choice, it’s a smart one.”

Coping, aka staying stuck in the rut of the Cul-De-Sac, however, is worse than quitting. Godin says,

“The problem with coping is that it never leads to exceptional performance. Mediocre work is rarely because of lack of talent and often because of the Cul-De-Sac. All coping does is waste your time and misdirect your energy. If the best you can do is cope, you’re better off quitting. Quitting is better than coping because quitting frees you up to excel at something else.”

And that is when it hit me. Do we ALL need a refresher on The Dip? Are workers nowadays preparing to gas up and endure a riveting drive round and round the same ole’ Cul-De-Sac? According to the Towers Watson study, it certainly appears so. Just consider how 51% of the workers polled said there is no clear career path available with their current employer. Likewise, if 43% say they can only advance if they leave, yet, almost the same percentage of people (44%) say they won’t leave because they want job stability, doesn’t that say that today’s workers by and large are going to grin and bear it? I think Towers Watson summed it up best by saying that the “respondents have dramatically lowered their career and retirement aspirations.”

And what will all that settling and lowered expectations do to the productivity, profitability and employee engagement within an organization? What will the customer experience be like? Will innovation and ingenuity thrive? How will that spill over into our personal lives. Miserably enduring eight hours a day at work has GOT to eventually impact your mood, motivation, and outlook at home, too.

How many of us are missing out on the best because we are afraid of the Dip we’ll have to mitigate in order to get there? As employers, are we doing our part to inspire and instill confidence with potential candidates who might be resistant to change right now? What will it take to convince today’s worker that career fulfillment is available and out there for the taking?

What path are you on right now? The Dip or the Cul-De-Sac?

* I can’t say enough about how much I enjoyed reading The Dip. Please check your local library or spend the $10-$15 it takes to make it a part of your permanent collection. If you’ve read it, read it again. I’d bet you will see some new insights that you can relate back to your current situation (as we enter a period of economic recovery, etc.). Plus, everyone knows that Seth Godin rocks.

** By the way, how super cool is Huh MacLeod? Seemed fitting to use one of his pieces to illustrate my post (particularly since his work is featured in a couple of Godin’s books), so I wrote him to ask for permission. Not only did he say yes, but, he answered me quickly and courteously. Little ole me!?! I encourage you to check him out at www.gapingvoid.com. There, you can read his blog (which features this and many other cool cartoons), visit his gallery (and purchase something unique for your office), buy his book Ignore Everybody, or just lurk around and get to know him better. He uses some colorful language and subject matter sometimes, but, if you are stuck in the Cul-De-Sac rut I just wrote about, many of his pieces will speak to and hopefully inspire you!

I started thinking about the multitasking assumptions that have been made about and further perpetuated by women. Less than 2-3 months ago, I would have ADAMANTLY argued that I am an expert multitasker. I would have declared that my gender, and the roles I play as a professional, wife, Mom and friend have prepared me to excel in this area. After all, as women, we had to learn how to talk on the phone with our friends, while we simultaneously cooked dinner, bounced our babies on our hips, and mentally rehearsed tomorrow’s big business pitch. And many of us feel as if we have been doing this successfully for years, thank you very much.

In fact, there is a whole body of research out there that maintains that women ARE better multitaskers. One such example featured a maze with male and female rats. The female rats could process multiple cues during their journey through the maze (like the geometry and landmarks), whereas male rats tended to focus in on one specific cue (just the geometry).* I am not sure if this is a study on multitasking or a study on which sex has a better sense of direction, but, that is a debate I will keep between my husband and I.

Another study found a physiological trait that may substantiate a woman’s superiority in the multitasking department. We have a larger corpus callosum (the part of the brain that facilitates the exchange of information between the left and right hemispheres of the brain). As a result, the study theorized, women can process different types of information more quickly and efficiently.**

But, the more I think about workplace productivity, for men AND women, the more I am starting to call “FOUL” on this whole multitasking idea. Even if women have had to develop a way to do it all, are we happy doing it? Do we feel like we do any of it well? Or do we feel like we are just barely a step ahead of having the bottom fall out from underneath us? Are we further perpetuating this myth that multitasking is something we are good at, thus thrusting ourselves into a no win situation? Do we believe on some level that there has got to be a better way to be productive?

The painful answers to some of these questions really dawned on me as I was reading “Find Your Strongest Life: What the Happiest and Most Successful Women Do Differently” by Marcus Buckingham. He takes on the myth of multitasking head on:

“Your brain is physically unable to process more than one set of instructions at a time, so while you are juggling all of those actions at once, your brain is scrambling to keep up. Through a variety of experiments measuring brain activity, scientists have discovered that the constant switching back and forth from one activity to another energizes regions of the brain that specialize in visual processing and physical coordination, while simultaneously disrupting the brain regions related to memory and learning.”

Buckingham goes on to recount that famous Hewlett Packard experiment on multitasking as it related to job performance. The typical worker in the study experienced a 10 point drop in their IQ while multitasking. To put that in perspective, the productivity the worker displayed was similar to that of a person who had missed a night’s sleep. Or worse than that of a worker who was doped up (marijuana drops the IQ by four points or so). No wonder we multitaskers meet the end the day feeling unproductive and like we are in this tired haze.

In his book “The Myth of Multitasking: How Doing It All Gets Nothing Done,” Dave Crenshaw has re-coined the phrase multitasking to “switchtasking.” We are not REALLY doing two things at once. Instead, we are switching our attention from one task to another. And the fact is, we experience a mental delay as we try to refocus between those varied tasks. Stats on this lag time differ, from a few seconds to an unbelievable 25 minutes to really get back to what you were doing before you were interrupted or distracted (as referenced in Frederiksen’s blog and in a 2005 New York Times article by Clive Thompson called “Meet the Life Hackers“). So, in short, multitasking is slowing us down…not speeding us up!

I think we need to stop all the madness. Slow down. Concentrate on what we are doing by trying to perform one task at a time. Be purposeful in our daily activities. Schedule our time and “to-do’s” wisely. Design project plans and try to stick to them. And when we are communicating, give people our undivided attention (e.g. no reading email while trying to talk on the phone with a colleague).

And, ladies, can we stop perpetuating the crazy societal belief that we can “do it all?” Fact is, we can accomplish a lot…just not all at once! Let’s start a new women’s movement. One where we cut ourselves a break. Let’s liberate ourselves from the superwoman complex. Stop the grind from eating us up. Everyone in the workplace (and at home) will be better off.

In addition to the links I provided above, here are some articles, links, and websites with some good stuff on workplace productivity:

• Gina Trapani’s Work Smart series on FastCompany.com (especially this one, called “Stop Multitasking and Start Doing One Thing Really Well“)

• Sam Parker at Give More Media has a great blog post on “How to Focus“

Got any other suggestions on how we can find the “sweet spot” between the hurried, multitasking pace we often find ourselves in and the quiet, focused state we need to reclaim in order to be more productive? Please share!

* Research for the rat study was summed up in an academic article written by Brandy R. Criss, Department of Psychology student at Missouri Western State University. Or you can purchase the actual research study by Dr. Christina Williams of Duke University.

** Research for the corpus callosum was summed up in an academic article written by Brandy R. Criss, Department of Psychology student at Missouri Western State University. Or you can purchase the book published by Diane Halpern called Sexual Differences in Cognitive Ability.

This was a question my 15-year old son could easily answer for himself yesterday afternoon.

We were on the way out of the pediatrician’s office when we experienced a little “traffic” at the payment/check out desk. There were two families ahead of us, so, I pulled my 10-year old daughter to the side to wait with me, and nodded with parental authority to my teen that we were officially “on standby.”  I lost track of him for a second as I focused in on my daughter’s chatter about the latest book she was reading. Before I knew it, it was one family down at check out, one to go.

Suddenly, my son came strolling up to us, his face beet red, with this amused/befuddled look on his face. I took a deep breath. He has obviously gotten into SOMETHING!

“Mom! You would not believe what I just did!!”

“God only knows,” I thought to myself.

“You see that mirror over there?”

I glanced over to see an office window that was covered in that reflective, mirror-coating about two steps from the check out desk, and nodded.

“Well, they think I am a  freak?”

That statement could equate to more things than I could even begin to imagine.  Don’t get me wrong, I completely enjoy my quirky 15-year old’s company. He somehow just has this knack, a gift really, for consistently doing something incredibly, unfathomably unexpected and/or goofy. Gulp. Did I really want to know more? Did I REALLY want to pose the question?  “Why do they think that?” I cautiously asked.

“Well, as I was waiting for us to leave, I decided to go stand by that mirror. First, I was just staring at it. I mean, totally staring at it. Like. A. Stalker.” he says dramatically as he demonstrated this creepy, wide-eyed, perfect-for-a-zombie-movie stare that made me chuckle. This is gonna be interesting.  He had me and my daughter’s undivided attention as he continued.

“Next, I decided to fix my hair, straighten my shirt, and adjust my belt.” I nodded in acknowledgment. I was very familiar with the way our teenager’s seemed to appraise their appearance every time we passed something remotely shiny and reflective.

“Then, I decided to start trying out my funny faces,” he said between laughs and an impromptu instant replay for his sister and I. Yikes. Me and the 10-year old started giggling. “And if that was not bad enough,” he gasped,  “then I started to dance and wave my hands around, just watching how my body movements were reflected in the mirror.” He then proceeded to re-enact the most ridiculous movements I think I have ever seen him display in public.

(This video above isn’t him, but you get the picture.)

I started to rub my forehead. What in the world?!?

As he struggled to talk, between breathless chuckles, I realized there was more. “As I moved in closer to the mirror, I recognized an image in the background. I focused in and suddenly it registered.”

“What?!” my daughter and I asked in unison.

“I could see this poor lady. The mirror is really the window into her office. She was sitting there, looking shocked and staring right up at me.” We were all roaring with laughter as he mimicked this troubled, yet amused, I-am-trying-to-work-here-kid-have-you-lost-your-mind look the office staff person must have given him. Right then, as if on cue, the door sprang open and she walked out of  her office. She quickly glided past us as we all looked up, obviously fighting off some giggles of her own.

As I went over his antics again in my mind this morning, it dawned on me that my kid’s crazy, embarrassing moment is a good example of a fundamental communication principle.

You never know when you might have an audience.

Your actions, the words you say, or the things you talk about can all to often have long term consequences. This is a pretty easy concept to grasp in our personal lives. We can’t go around dropping bad words or talking about how Johnny’s Mom looks like she put on some weight around our kids and expect them not to use foul language or not to gossip.

However, I wonder how many of us remember this fact when we are at work.

For example, there have been several occasions when I have mindlessly said something in jest to my colleagues one moment (say, over lunch) that later (say, in a critical meeting) affected their ability to take me or an idea that I had seriously. That is not to say that my co-workers had all made a conscious decision that I was a fool, but, I had set the “goofy” tone without thinking about those moments when I’d need them to remember my expertise or competency.

Are we thinking about this as we communicate with our colleagues, as we tweet on twitter, update on Facebook, write in our blogs? And do NOT even get me started on the stuff we are are spewing out LOUDLY and MINDLESSLY while talking on our cell phones in public while at the grocery store, Target, the office parking lot, etc., etc., etc., etc.

A popular motivational speaker once framed it like this: choose to start communicating and behaving for the next position you want in life. So, if you are vying for a promotion, start to communicate in a way that would make it easier for the higher-ups to imagine you in that upgraded role. Or, if you want to reach a particular fitness goal, attempt to act, think and talk like a person who has ALREADY met that goal.

I was viewing a recent interview with Atlanta Pastor, Andy Stanley, as he discussed his new book ” The Principle of the Path: How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be.” The premise of the book echoes this same thought. You can have good intentions all day long about who you want to be or where you want to go, but, until you actively start to communicate and behave like someone who is actually walking down the path you hope to travel, you won’t ever arrive there.

Don’t get me wrong. I believe we need to be genuine, real and true to ourselves, but, I also believe we need to THINK a little more about what we are communicating– to others AND ourselves.

What are your thoughts?

In case you are not familiar, the “Bucket List” was a movie released in 2007, starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. These two characters, from totally different walks of life, develop a unique friendship as they recover from their cancer treatments in the hospital. While reflecting on their mortality, both men work to compose a “Bucket List” comprised of all the things in life they want to do before they “kick the bucket.” Nicholson’s character, an irreverent billionaire with the financial means to make it happen, and Freeman’s character, a scholarly mechanic ready to make good for past regrets, venture off together to accomplish all the things on the list.

Recently, I have seen this story line resurface in a show currently airing on MTV, called “The Buried Life.” This is a reality show about four guys, Ben, Dave, Duncan and Jonnie, who decide to put their lives on hold, purchase a Purple Motorbus, and get busy completing 100 things they want to do before they die. Unlike “The Bucket List,” they are not in danger of dying anytime soon, but are actually young, vivacious, adventurous guys who just wanted to do something different because, in their own words, “Life moves fast and we wanted to slow down and enjoy it.”

Some of the things on their list are just plain crazy, like, breaking into the Playboy Mansion or asking Megan Fox out on a date. Some items are amazingly simple yet life changing, like helping to deliver a baby. And some of the things on their list are seemingly impossible, like, playing a game of basketball with the President. I am not necessarily excited about some of the language they use or all of the tasks they are trying to complete, but, I have found myself pulled into the show (which is surprising because I think I am just a tad bit older than their desired demographic).

There are three things that I really enjoy about “The Buried Life.” Firstly, the “Carpe Diem, Seize the Day” spirit of the show draws me in (and it was the same thing I liked about “The Bucket List”). Secondly, I truly admire the creative, imaginative way that the guys approach each new challenge. I see the keys to success at work as they take on a new task, things like believing you will accomplish the goal no matter how impossible it seems; working together to arrive at the final solution; unabashedly asking people for help or expertise when they need it; or just being willing to work hard (to earn money, gain access, etc.). But the thing I think I like best about the show is that for every task they complete on their list, they help a stranger accomplish their number one wish. I have seen them help a young lady get over her fear of rollercoasters. They enabled a father to locate and contact his son again, after more than 15 years out of touch. They helped a teacher at a Charter School purchase a brand new computer for his class. And I got tears in my eyes when I watched them raise enough money to help a young girl fly to her mother’s grave site. Her mother, a casualty of Hurricane Katrina, was buried across the country and “The Buried Life” gave this young lady the closure she had desired.

In the end, I think there is a certain degree of power that comes with taking a step back out of the routine, day-to-day shuffle of our lives to really look deeply at the things we’ve wanted to experience or accomplish. I happen to believe that we all have God-given desires in our hearts (Psalm 20:4; Psalm 37:4), things that He has planted there that take our particular brand of talent and ability to accomplish.

I now see that “The Buried Life” is not about accomplishing a bunch of tasks before we are dead and buried. It is about getting out from under all the unimportant things that are already burying us so that we can truly experience life now.

What to explore this further? Check out:
The Bucket List
The Buried Life
5 by Dan Zadra
The List: 100 Ways to Shake Up Your Life by Gail Belsky
Dream It. List It. Do It! How to Live a Bigger & Bolder Life by Lia Steakley and the Experts at 43Things.com
Cure for the Common Life by Max Lucado

What is on your “Bucket List?” Are these things you can start to accomplish now? Do you have the ability, through finances, access, talent/gifts, etc., to help other people accomplish their dreams? Are there some other resources you can name (movies, books, websites, etc.) that will help you to focus on unearthing your innermost ambitions?

I was deep in thought yesterday, when I fell into one of those “the lights are on but no one is home,” trance-like states. The kind of intense reflection that makes the people around you wonder if you were abducted by an alien or something. As my stream of consciousness took over, a myriad of memories, to-do lists, worries, jokes, friends I need to catch up with, and who knows what else flashed through my mind.

For a millisecond, my thoughts wandered to the declaration that I truly enjoy the whole social networking thing. Being connected with so many impressive industry leaders makes me feel like I have been transported to some top secret facility, where I am the proverbial fly on the wall in this grand conference room, happily eavesdropping on some of the most forward-thinking, inspiring conversations around. And from a purely casual friendship level, I appreciate how I can quickly keep my finger on the pulse of what is going on with my friends and family. In just minutes I can peek at a few new pictures, leave a smart alec comment, congratulate someone’s accomplishments, or help a friend find a new plumber. And almost always my experience on these sites is positive.

Why do I get so much enjoyment out of participating in these online communities, anyway? What makes it so addicting? Why has it taken ahold of us like this?

My thoughts segued to a college memory I had long forgotten. During my junior year, I signed up for what sounded like an easy, blow-off course called “The Sociology of Public Space.” Clearly there was some divine intervention at work at the time, because it ended up being one of the best courses I have ever taken.

In this class, we examined the impact that architecture, parks, corner pubs, coffee shops, cozy book stores and other informal gathering places have on the level of vitality, connection, and support a community experiences. I found it fascinating to stop and think about why we are drawn to “hang” in certain places and can’t wait to get out of others.

Ever really stop and ponder why we relish those Starbucks moments? There are always at least a half a dozen or more people gathered there, day or night, contentedly sunk deep into one of those big, velvety armchairs reading the New York Times while sipping slowly on their somewhat overpriced fat-free-no-whip-sugar-free-cinnamon-dulce-lattes. Or why do we just feel like spunkier, happier, better people as we take in that wholesome apple pie and Americana vibe we get while strolling down Main Street USA at Disney? Or why are so many home builders erecting suburban communities that feature houses with detached garages, big inviting front porches, and wide, well marked walking paths that lead right to the community’s very own “Town Square?”

According to sociologists, we NEED these sorts of public places. Places where we can come together and feel connected. According to Ray Oldenburg, Ph.D., Professor Emeritus at the Department of Sociology at the University of West Florida and author of The Great Good Place, “What suburbia cries for are the means for people to gather easily, inexpensively, regularly, and pleasurably — a ‘place on the corner,’ real life alternatives to television, easy escapes from the cabin fever of marriage and family life that do not necessitate getting into an automobile.”1

Theorists studying the social science of public spaces maintain that the advent of the car and the popularization of cookie cutter suburbia has created this “life in a vacuum” experience. Many of us don’t walk to our corner, family-owned market anymore; we drive to the grocery store. Most of aren’t passing our neighbors on the sidewalk on the way to work and play; we utilize some sort of transportation to get to where we are going or we stay isolated in the privacy of our homes. And the majority of us to do not fraternize at the local pub where everyone knows our names. Instead we live in this bubble, isolated as we transition daily from the bubble of our homes, to the bubble of our cars, to the bubble of our work offices/cubicles and back again. As a result, sociologists claim we are longing for the connection and support generations before us used to experience in their pre-bubble communities. Whether it was the close quarters of an urban setting (where people in a particular geographic area would develop a very strong sense of community because they worked, worshiped, shopped and likely drank ale together in the same general vicinity) or whether it was within the very conservative, close-knit rural communities (where folks would sit out on their front porches, sip lemonade and chit chat with all the nice people who strolled by and everyone truly DID know your name).

My point? I think that Social Media has re-created, to some extent, that connected, community-centric experience we’ve missed. Social networks have allowed us to easily laugh, share, debate, learn, support, empathize, connect, and commune. We can shop together, work together and even drink virtual ale together, if we want. In fact, social networks have offered us some other benefits we wouldn’t have had in the communities of the past, like the ability to communicate with someone across the globe in just seconds. Or the fact that we can watch, learn and secretly be mentored by so many really smart people by just choosing to follow their Tweets or read their blogs. We can stay up-to-the minute with distant family members and have easily reunited with old friends we had long lost touch with and who would have otherwise been nearly impossible to locate.

Would all this connection mean we’ve broken free of the bubbles?

I’m guessing that the answer to this question may be the very reason some people decide to close down their Twitter accounts, de-friend their FB connections, and turn off their cell phones or computers. The computer or mobile screen can’t really serve as a substitution for a real, face-to-face connection with someone else, can it?

Neither extreme– whether we’re wrapped up in the Social Networking world at the expense of our in-flesh relationships or whether we’re completely “dark” and disconnected– can truly meet our psychological need for community. Maybe we don’t truly harness the power of an online community unless we use it both to connect, communicate and extend both our virtual AND physical relationships.

The soft, hopeful new message alert “bing” chimed from my computer, snapping me out of my midday coma. I pondered my own use of Social Networking as I shifted my focus back to my work. Am I breaking free of or further perpetuating “the bubble?”

What’s your take? How do we truly plug into the community of this “public space?”

1. The source of this quote and Ray Oldenburg’s biography can be found on the Project for Public Spaces’ website.

TGIM: Thank God Its Monday.

Before you roll your eyes and reach for another cup of coffee, take a minute to really think about it. Those of us who are still “slaving away,” and toiling for “the man,” have we ever stopped to ask ourselves if we are looking at this all wrong? Maybe we should be really thanking our lucky stars we even have a job to wake up to on Monday morning. After all, according to the Bureau of Labor and Statistics’ October 2009 report there are some 15.7 million Americans out of work right now.

Ouch.

I came across something quite serendipitously this morning. I started my typical Monday morning routine of pouring through the dozens of unread emails that had stockpiled in my inbox over the weekend when something caught my eye. The note in the subject line stated “You smile. But do you smove?”

As I clicked it open to read more, I was expecting “smove” to be a marketer’s worst nightmare–a solicitation with a typo in the subject line!

But, in actuality, it is play on words that aptly describes a workplace culturalization program designed to help people “Smile & Move.” Get it…Smove. And the truth is the “Smile & Move” message was just the kick in the pants I needed today.

The program, detailed online at www.smileandmove.com, is really quite simple.

The first component, “Smile,” breaks down the recipe for happiness. Turns out that being happy is closely connected to being attentive to others, willing to serve, thankful, accessible, and positive. “Smile” also means what it says. For goodness sakes, people, SMILE sometimes, and really mean it!!

“Move,” the second component, captures the premise that we have to actually DO SOMETHING if we want to be happy and successful. “Smile & Move” creator Sam Parker reminds us of some of those Success 101 principles that, before all the fear and negativity, were a regular part of our workplace vernacular. Things like exceeding expectations, putting in a little more effort, having a sense of urgency, or being flexible and creative. Not because we have to. But because we want to.

All of us can recount those customer service experiences where we felt as if we were almost bothering the establishments we were trying to do business with (read Parker’s story for a great example). Perhaps we have forgotten why we are here. Maybe the recent economic trials have fostered a survival instinct in the workplace and with it, a tendency to turn inward and focus on ourselves. Despite the reasons, I appreciate that the “Smile & Move” movement is attempting to remind us that our work and lives are about the connections we make with others— our customers, co-workers, managers, teachers, friends, and family.

Parker summed it up best when he said, “If we want to matter and to be happy, if we want more freedom, more flexibility, more responsibility or more money, we need to give more to those we’re supposed to be serving. We need to get over ourselves.“

TGIM! Now, get smoving!

Addendum (3/29/2010): Some of my most recent posts have focused on moving on if you are in a job that you know you are “settling” for. I still believe that our level of happiness and fulfillment in our work is greatly impacted by how we choose to approach our Monday mornings. However, if you know that you know that you know that you’re not in the right vocation and no attitude adjustment is gonna change that, then, start taking the steps to move on. Life is too short to live miserably through each Monday…or Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, for that matter.

Today’s uncertain economic conditions have produced an interesting new hobby. I call it “manager watching.” All it takes is a newly released earnings report, an inquiry from a higher-up for specifics on forecasted revenues, or another impromptu budget review meeting to get this process moving. And unlike the traditional “people watching” we all seem to enjoy (especially while at the state fair or a large sporting event), “manager watching” can reveal a lot about the people who are running the show. Depending on the situation, we get to see real poetry in motion or a nightmarish train wreck unfold right before our very eyes.

While observing my client’s, co-workers and competitors, I’ve noticed a couple of distinct, management personalities emerge.

Panicked Pauline
The reactive management style can be an admirable trait in some situations. A manager who can quickly see the problem and think on his/her feet to identify and implement a solution would be an asset in almost any organization. In Pauline’s case, when times were mostly stable and it was a matter of creatively problem solving through the small day to day “fires” that would pop up, she was a pro. The challenges businesses are facing now, however, are much more volatile, complex, far-reaching, and long-lasting and that reactive, go-with-the-gut split-second decision making doesn’t do much to instill confidence. As each piece of bad news crosses Pauline’s desk, she goes into a panicked problem solving mode, and her co-workers and direct reports can FEEL the knee-jerk, anxiety-ridden state of her decision making. As a result, the solutions presented are not very strategic. The boss seems to have lost touch with the big picture, and the team’s idea of the mission is blurrier than ever. Fear is sinking in and morale is plummeting– affecting everyone’s ability to think creatively and operate efficiently. This soon becomes a viscious cycle. As their performance declines, they get more bad news, which brings about more fear and panic, more impulsive decision-making, more wasted time on fruitless ventures, less productivity, worsened morale, more bad news, etc.

Head-In-Sand Heather
On the other side of the spectrum, is Heather. Under normal conditions, her positive, uplifting, glass-is-half full viewpoints are welcomed by the team. In today’s very pesimistic business environment, most people like — and frankly need– to be reminded to look on the bright side sometimes. But manager’s like Heather, who seem to be way out of touch with reality, are losing the respect and trust of their reports. All this Pollyanna has started to sound a lot like HOT AIR. Employees know business is down, they see the company’s bottom line is being affected, and they want to know what leadership really plans to do about it. If left to their own devices, they can kick up quite a storm in rumors and hearsay. And all the whispering wreaks major havoc on productivity. People are too busy speculating on what is happening.

Collaborative Connie
I think one of the best examples of leadership to come out of this depressed economy can be coined as “Collaborative Connie.” This manager is honest and upbeat, ready to hear from the troops, mindful of both the short and long-term goals, strategic in their decision making, and strong enough to display the confidence everyone will need to make progress. Connie keeps her team informed of the latest information that may impact their business, team, or positions. By being honest and open, she can quell rumors and influence how the team will respond to the news. Connie also encourages the team to exchange ideas on how to cut costs, enhance products/services, or improve customer satisfaction. By emphasizing the power of the team and conveying the concept that “we are all in this together,” she helps to create an environment of collaboration and support. Connie has also stepped up her efforts to recognize each team member’s contribution. Employees are working harder to fill the gaps left by colleagues who left and were never replaced or who were laid off. People are unsure of the value of their work nowadays, so, Connie makes a special point to acknowledge good ideas, hard work, improved efficiences, small successes, dedication, loyalty, or enthusiastic attitudes whenever she can.

I would vehemently argue with this finding. The breadth and depth of information that is available at a blink of an eye on Twitter is amazing. In fact, one of my colleagues claims she has learned more on Twitter in the last couple of year’s than she did during her formative years in college (and for those naysayers who are developing a smart alec response, she was a good student at a widely respected university…so that IS saying something).

But, let’s just take a GIANT leap and go along with the premise that Twitter is a storehouse for endless personal chatter. I would argue that “Social Networking” has redefined how we communicate and the value of that communication. Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, and even aspects of LinkedIn are first and foremost places for a new kind of “social” interaction, right?

I would also maintain that there are plenty of instances where we DEEPLY CARE about the seemingly pointless babble that comes from the people in our inner circle. We do not see it as a waste of time to hear about our best friend’s recent back-to-school shopping trip at the mall or the Senior Vice President of Prospect Company’s feelings on their recent Alaskan cruise. And for those online friends whose updates do seem to accurately fall into the babble category, these websites provide us with the ability to quickly “plug in” or “opt out” at our discretion…without the consequences that may come with face-to-face interaction. Interestingly, though, I have experienced instances where my “I care” barometer seemed to change depending on the chosen topic they were discussing, my own state of mind and interests, and the status of the relationship I had with that particular contact when they launched their riveting updates. So, to categorically classify all their stuff as pointless would seem a bit short-sighted to me.

And what about the “Network” part of “Social Networking?” Will all this “nonsense” happening online ever be considered productive and can it actually be helpful in the business world?

We can all probably agree that there are social aspects that are a key to doing business. Fact is we DO have to hear our client’s or co-workers drone on about their golf game, fave football team, their kids or that recent, luxury vacation. And professionals who can successfully listen to this stuff and identify something in what they are hearing that they actually can and DO care about, are usually pretty good at relationship building. Consequently, they are also usually pretty good at getting business DONE with those same “friends.”

The fact is, we typically will do business with someone who is able to make us GENUINELY feel like we are the stars in a our very own blockbuster “Me Show.” Maybe Mr. Talker Babbler is monopolizing the conversation and sure it is frustratingly one-sided, but, it is also human nature. Get people talking about themselves and feeling like you care, and you are more likely to be successful in ANY relationship. Mastering this communication game used to be called networking, rapport building, becoming a part of a “good ole boys network,” and etc. And with the advent of Social Networking, this is a skill that is changing shape somewhat.

Most of us have examples (some of us more recently than others) of winning (or losing) business based on the relationships that were built (or not built) with the client vs. the merit of our actual service offerings, the expertise of our team, our stellar case studies, or our more-than-fair pricing schedules. For that reason, I think any avenue we can use to strengthen our relationships, get to know people better, allow them to get to know us better, and/or leverage the power of our contact’s contacts is probably going to be both personally AND professionally beneficial.

Maybe I am being naïve, but, I think we outta TRY to care about what other people have to say, even if it seems void of any real newsworthiness. I am not suggesting that we are going to have some poignant statement to add to every Twitter update or Facebook wall post. I am also not suggesting that we spend valuable time trying to pour over everyone’s updates as if we expected to find the cure to cancer hidden cryptically within the play-by-play summations of this weekend’s activities. I do think, however, we can strike a balance. The same way we’ve managed to master 150+ High Definition channels of pointless entertainment and information infinitum that streams effortlessly into our TVs, we can probably find a way to efficiently surf our friend’s updates with lightning fast speed and in just a matter of seconds get a pretty good gist of what our “peeps” are “tweeting” about. And when you see that one of your vendor contacts is celebrating a birthday today, or you learn that your colleague just had to say a heart-wrenching farewell to their family dog, or you read an excited update from your client who breaks the news that his wife is “expecting” via sonogram pic, I say just take a few extra seconds to communicate that you care. In my humble opinion, the dividends will pay off in the long run.

I interrupt this regularly scheduled programming…for these words on positive thinking.

Like everyone else, I see the in-your-face realities of the current state of affairs. I wholeheartedly believe we should be informed and I do not support a “head in the sand” or “tip toe through the tulips” approach to solving the very real problems at hand. But with the overwhelming abundance of bad news lately, I wonder if we are “keepin it real” or just being NEGATIVE!

I’m not trying to sound too Tony-Robbins-Zig-Zigler-esque, but, doesn’t anybody believe in the power of positive thinking anymore? Don’t we believe in the concept of the “self-fulfilling prophesy?” If we focus on example after example after example of our impending doom, won’t we ultimately bring it on ourselves?

It is to the point that I am HUNGRY for stories of survival, ingenuity, success, and victory. These stories, when I find them, are even more rewarding when we can see that the champion somehow achieved success while up against seemingly insurmountable odds. These people will unilaterally report that they BELIEVED THEY COULD REACH THEIR GOALS…NO MATTER WHAT! One of the primary obstacles those winners faced on their way to success was negative thinking.

I believe our clients/customers and colleagues are really yearning for some good news, too. I think they want partners who exude a calm confidence and unflappable belief in the current and future viability of all that we claim we can bring to the table. They do not want watered down products or half baked entries into competencies we don’t really have (and are unwilling to properly develop). They want partners that know that they know that they KNOW they have what it takes to succeed. That kind of positive attitude, especially given the current state of affairs, is sure to help you stand out from the rest.

You do not have to be a Psychology Major to know that people are more apt to be productive, creative thinkers when they are in a positive state of being. Conversely, that deep, dark, sinking feeling of dread does little to improve the bottom line. Sure, fear and worry CAN initially produce some results, but, the long-lasting side effects are usually damaging. A desperate “Lord of the Flies,” or “Survival of the Meanest” kind of thing happens. People become more isolated, there is increased posturing and back-biting, and, watching out for #1 practically becomes a national pastime. And when things turn around (and they WILL turn around), what are we left with?

In the timeless story of David and Goliath, David didn’t sit back and ponder all the reasons why he could not defeat the giant. He did not catalogue how big the giant’s muscles were or how solid his armor was. He did not subscribe to informational newsletters that detailed the varied examples of Goliath’s superiority. He did not read about other competitors, with their sophisticated weapons and solid track records in battle, and worry about losing out on his chance for victory. Heck, he didn’t even listen to his friends and family who were trying to “protect him” by warning him of the potential danger involved. Instead, he encouraged himself by recounting previous instances of success. And then? He. Just. Went. For. It.

These could be exciting times for us. A chance to join the ranks of the all the other Overcomers we have come to admire. I challenge you to stop lamenting, panicking or propagating all the reasons we are screwed and just decide right now to succeed.

Here are some ways you might shift your mindset:

* Start your day off by listing 10 things you are grateful for
* Watch the movie “Yes Man”
* Read Norman Vincent Peale’s book “The Power of Positive Thinking”
* Volunteer at a homeless shelter or children’s home
* Read this CBS News article on “Optimism, In The Middle Of A Depression”
* Watch the old SNL Stuart Smalley Skit and repeat his famous mantra “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and, doggonit, people like me!”
* Go to a Comedy Club and laugh for a couple of hours
* Watch the movie “The Ultimate Gift”
* Make a conscious effort to smile more
* Exercise regularly
* Don’t engage in office gossip or negativity

How do you maintain a positive attitude?

Blog originally posted on Tampabay.skirt.com and then later reposted on Hodes’ Healthcare Matters blog