The Performance Of A Lifetime
“Mirror, mirror on the wall… who is the goofiest one of all?”
This was a question my 15-year old son could easily answer for himself yesterday afternoon.
We were on the way out of the pediatrician’s office when we experienced a little “traffic” at the payment/check out desk. There were two families ahead of us, so, I pulled my 10-year old daughter to the side to wait with me, and nodded with parental authority to my teen that we were officially “on standby.” I lost track of him for a second as I focused in on my daughter’s chatter about the latest book she was reading. Before I knew it, it was one family down at check out, one to go.
Suddenly, my son came strolling up to us, his face beet red, with this amused/befuddled look on his face. I took a deep breath. He has obviously gotten into SOMETHING!
“Mom! You would not believe what I just did!!”
“God only knows,” I thought to myself.
“You see that mirror over there?”
I glanced over to see an office window that was covered in that reflective, mirror-coating about two steps from the check out desk, and nodded.
“Well, they think I am a freak?”
That statement could equate to more things than I could even begin to imagine. Don’t get me wrong, I completely enjoy my quirky 15-year old’s company. He somehow just has this knack, a gift really, for consistently doing something incredibly, unfathomably unexpected and/or goofy. Gulp. Did I really want to know more? Did I REALLY want to pose the question? “Why do they think that?” I cautiously asked.
“Well, as I was waiting for us to leave, I decided to go stand by that mirror. First, I was just staring at it. I mean, totally staring at it. Like. A. Stalker.” he says dramatically as he demonstrated this creepy, wide-eyed, perfect-for-a-zombie-movie stare that made me chuckle. This is gonna be interesting. He had me and my daughter’s undivided attention as he continued.
“Next, I decided to fix my hair, straighten my shirt, and adjust my belt.” I nodded in acknowledgment. I was very familiar with the way our teenager’s seemed to appraise their appearance every time we passed something remotely shiny and reflective.
“Then, I decided to start trying out my funny faces,” he said between laughs and an impromptu instant replay for his sister and I. Yikes. Me and the 10-year old started giggling. “And if that was not bad enough,” he gasped, “then I started to dance and wave my hands around, just watching how my body movements were reflected in the mirror.” He then proceeded to re-enact the most ridiculous movements I think I have ever seen him display in public.
(This video above isn’t him, but you get the picture.)
I started to rub my forehead. What in the world?!?
As he struggled to talk, between breathless chuckles, I realized there was more. “As I moved in closer to the mirror, I recognized an image in the background. I focused in and suddenly it registered.”
“What?!” my daughter and I asked in unison.
“I could see this poor lady. The mirror is really the window into her office. She was sitting there, looking shocked and staring right up at me.” We were all roaring with laughter as he mimicked this troubled, yet amused, I-am-trying-to-work-here-kid-have-you-lost-your-mind look the office staff person must have given him. Right then, as if on cue, the door sprang open and she walked out of her office. She quickly glided past us as we all looked up, obviously fighting off some giggles of her own.
As I went over his antics again in my mind this morning, it dawned on me that my kid’s crazy, embarrassing moment is a good example of a fundamental communication principle.
You never know when you might have an audience.
Your actions, the words you say, or the things you talk about can all to often have long term consequences. This is a pretty easy concept to grasp in our personal lives. We can’t go around dropping bad words or talking about how Johnny’s Mom looks like she put on some weight around our kids and expect them not to use foul language or not to gossip.
However, I wonder how many of us remember this fact when we are at work.
For example, there have been several occasions when I have mindlessly said something in jest to my colleagues one moment (say, over lunch) that later (say, in a critical meeting) affected their ability to take me or an idea that I had seriously. That is not to say that my co-workers had all made a conscious decision that I was a fool, but, I had set the “goofy” tone without thinking about those moments when I’d need them to remember my expertise or competency.
Are we thinking about this as we communicate with our colleagues, as we tweet on twitter, update on Facebook, write in our blogs? And do NOT even get me started on the stuff we are are spewing out LOUDLY and MINDLESSLY while talking on our cell phones in public while at the grocery store, Target, the office parking lot, etc., etc., etc., etc.
A popular motivational speaker once framed it like this: choose to start communicating and behaving for the next position you want in life. So, if you are vying for a promotion, start to communicate in a way that would make it easier for the higher-ups to imagine you in that upgraded role. Or, if you want to reach a particular fitness goal, attempt to act, think and talk like a person who has ALREADY met that goal.
I was viewing a recent interview with Atlanta Pastor, Andy Stanley, as he discussed his new book ” The Principle of the Path: How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be.” The premise of the book echoes this same thought. You can have good intentions all day long about who you want to be or where you want to go, but, until you actively start to communicate and behave like someone who is actually walking down the path you hope to travel, you won’t ever arrive there.
Don’t get me wrong. I believe we need to be genuine, real and true to ourselves, but, I also believe we need to THINK a little more about what we are communicating– to others AND ourselves.
What are your thoughts?